Hiatus

LOYAL EARTHLINGS.   AS WE PREPARE FOR SAZLAAR’S APPROACH WE WILL BE IN A BLACKOUT MODE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.  SOON ENOUGH I WILL BE BACK TO REPORT ALL THE NEWS.

STAY TUNED

SAZLAAR APPROACHES!

We woke this morning to this announcement.  And this Announcement only.  SAZLAAR APPROACHES.

I don’t know what that means.  But it can’t be good.  I remember the Martians telling us about Sazlaar previously.  We will have to see.

DAMN.  Red eyes always equal bad.  Unless your a satanist I guess.  Or Just really tired.

Ben Stein hopefully has some more Clear Eyes left over.  Cause it looks like Sazlaar needs some…or just more sleep.

President is Scarred.

Aaahhh Martians Roam in Packs…

Never contemplated that The Martians may be in packs and we may need more than 1 net. The net gun only really holds one at a time though. Yea your right. Probably should have brought an extra, for reloading sakes.

Well Tom Cruise lived a glorious life, Cocktail, Top Gun….I heard he was in some other stuff to…not sure though.

Maybe getting a live sample isn’t a worth while cause…or even feasible.

I’ll give 50 Bucks to any Red Blooded earthling that can get me a live sample…and trust me, when we get civilization going again…50 bucks will be huge!

President out to find 50 bucks…

Martian Invasion - Thanks Tom Cruise!

We…well lost our last specimen.  You remember that…not a great chapter in our history.  Kinda gross to.  But we needed scientists to come and help us study.  And you know who showed up?  Yep Tom Cruise.  He asked to help, (not will smith but I’ll take it).    Here was our converstion.

Prez - Do you know the Periodic Table?

Tom - No.

Prez -okay, do you know the multiplication table?

Tom - No.

Prez - okay. Hmmm Do you know science?

Tom - Not really, I know looking good and having flowing hair….ohh ye and don’t forget Rock Climbing.

Prez - Hmmmmmm, not really a scientist then…right…

Tom - Hey Prez, You are Just Glib!…your a Jerk.

Prez - ALIGHT TOM, you can help…Climb Rocks Ehhhh.

ALL PRAISE THE NET GUN!

Pres…out

Martian Invasion - ATTENTION ALL SCIENTISTS

The World Government has immediate openings for Scientists, many positions available.  Just send a resume to President of Earth PO BOX 1234 Hidden Bunker USA 80305

4 years of University of related work experience preferably with science or dissectin, or at least the Game Operation.

And Don’t worry we can only make this mistake once.   Next time we will use tranquilizers AND chains.

God is my face red.  Ohhh well.

President Out to find some more scientists.

27 Tranquilizers Later…we Got It

Hmmm Are there any scientists left out there that may want to come to my secret bunker and help us?  I mean its no big deal, not to scare anybody but we only lost like 4-7.  Still trying to get the dental records together.

I mean the pay ain’t great, but its the apocalyps….Do it for your Planet….or…for me

But lets see what Scientist Dave is doing.  Yep Incisions. Thats usually what scientists do.

I hope that is enough tranquilizers…cause Scientist Dave is one of the last we got.  We will have to go with the Russian Scientist if we lost Dave.  And he, oddly enough, speaks Not English.  And the metric system?

I hope they don’t have gross looking guts.  I wonder if they even have guts?  Man I should have watched Alien Autopsy …FOX is having the last laugh for sure.

President Out

We Should Have Used Better Chains

Earth!

We captured one of these Martians.  In case you have been living under a rock for the last few months we have been getting are shit kicked in.  Its not been pretty.  The Martians took an opportunity to knock back some drinks in celebration of the first successful wave of their attack.  So we took the opportunity to steal one of their drunk asses and study them.  From behind protective safety glass of course.  It is said that a car could hit this unbreakable glass and we would be fine.  If you were sleeping you would have no idea what even happened.

Ohhh crap. Hold on I need to take care of something.

President out to find a net gun.

Martian Invasion - GOTCHA!

You may be wondering where I have been, or not.

But we have been slowing watching these Martians drink all my booze (bastards), after they passed out we snuck up on one of them on the side trying to puke and rally. We enlisted the help of bad ass Cowboy Steve, who isn’t afraid of anything, and happens to own a net gun still, which helps.

We plan on using this Martian to study them, maybe…find a weakness.

Now we can probe these fuckers for a change!

President out…not to probe aliens…I promise….

Martian Invasion - Party is Over

Humanity.  No, I am not dead, No I did not build a space ship and fly to some other planet to start over humanity, that ships not done yet.

It was super bowl weekend.  Well It was supposed to be super bowl weekend, these monsters turned all the footballs stadiums into death pits.  Yea, sound way less cool than they used to be.

So me and the Minister of Defense and the band Ministry popped in a tape of an old superbowl.  Ewwww Seahawks vs Steelers…gay.  That is the only Super bowl tape we have left? ahh man.

But I kinda forget the Martians were out side Partying, lets see how they are doing.

Wow They are Great Warriors and Scientists.  But they are terrible Drunks.  Have fun with that Hangover.  We probably do not even have to get revenge they look like they feeling the revenge enough on their own.

Prezident is glad he bought Caser Capsules.

Martian Invasion - Party Time!

Yep, they stole my booze.  Must have assimilated our drinking games when they studied us for so many years.  And Now they Just want to Party.

Wait…What is that Noise!?!?!?

“
Party all the time
party all the time.
My girl wants to party all the time
party all the time…..”

NOOO!!! They found my party mix tape.  Only humans can jam out to Eddie Murphy’s party all the time!  This has gone to far.  We can wait for them to pass out….then…Payback.

Drink up little Aliens…Drink Up.

Pres out to sharpen some sticks for payback time.